Reflection on Chapters 3 & 4

Kristen Halbritter
September 21, 2016
COMM 320
Reflection 2

Chapter 3

1) The Film "Way Way Back"

"Can you think of significant others who have influenced how you think and feel about yourself?  How have those messages affected the way you communicate with others?" -Looking Out Looking In pg. 67

 I can think of people who have lowered and raised my self esteem.  I had a "friend" who would make negative comments about the way I dressed and about how my face looked, especially when I would break out a little, and would negatively comment on a lot of other things as well.  However, since then, my boyfriend has helped me with my self esteem a lot over the duration of our relationship.  He has seen me when I've looked my worst and would still think I'm beautiful and would make sure I was aware of it. 

Before I was in a relationship with my boyfriend, the other person I mentioned before was the person I spent the majority of my time with. (I look back now and wonder why I spent so much time with them when they would only make me feel awful about myself.  You live and learn I guess.) Anyways, when I was with that person a lot, I remember being more to myself and more of a hermit rather than wanting to be around other people. I think that had a lot to do with my self esteem. I think that I felt pretty worthless a lot of the time and didn't want to be around a lot of people because I believed everyone felt the same way my "friend" did about me and my looks. Now, after a lot of reassurance and lots of positive comments and gestures, I feel a lot more confident and feel less intimidated speaking my mind and going out with other people.  I feel that I have more worth and feel more confident with the way I look.  Positive comments have greatly impacted my communication with others, and I feel that it has even helped me with my stuttering problem because of the confidence boost. 

2) Talking with Little Girls

a. "Do you think people talk differently to little girls than they talk to little boys? If so, offer examples."

b. "What impact does communication with children have on the development of their self-concept and self-esteem?"

c. "Do you generally agree or disagree with the author's central point about talking to little girls? Explain why or why not."

 -Looking Out Looking In pg. 73

A. Yes, I think people talk to little girls differently than they talk to little boys. For example, the first thing I say about my little cousin, Jesse, is that shes so cute.  I think about the way she dresses and how beautiful shes going to be when she's older.  Her sister, Rowan, I also comment on how cute she is to her mother. (Shes a baby).  Most older kids or people want little kids to like them when they are around them.  And the easiest thing to say to a little girl is "You look so pretty!" I mean, you can never go wrong with a comment like that.  You're sure to make a friend of the little girl with a comment like that.  However, if you tell a little boy how cute they are or comment on how they dress, they won't like you too much.  They'll respond with a disgusted face and won't be too impressed with you.  With boys, you talk about trucks and other interests they may have to make a connection with them.  

B. If you comment on a little girl's appearance too much, they will begin to think that being pretty is important and wrap themselves up into making sure they look that way. Comments like that gives hints that that is the way they are supposed to be. If you don't talk to them about other things like their hobbies and interests and only comment on looks and beauty, their personhood gets fully wrapped up in that one thing.  That is why it is important to talk about books and other interests so little girls do not think their self worth comes from the way they look.  If little girls are repetitively told that they look pretty, they will begin to anticipate and expect that comment and will work to get the comment.  If they don't get the comment they are looking for, their self-esteem may be lowered because that is now a part of their self-worth. 

C. I definitely agree with the author's central point.  Before reading the article, I never really thought about how something as simple as a comment can effect a little girl's future self-concept so much.  I agree because I see the point she makes as valid.  As I explained above, what you comment on or take interest in with little girls or boys helps them determine what is important.  We should try to connect on a deeper level with little girls by asking about interests instead of bringing up looks and appearance.  From now on, I plan to bring up interests instead of looks when talking with little girls because I believe doing so will help them in the future with their perception of self-worth and self-esteem. 

Chapter 4

1) The comedy "Dear White People" 

"When do you stereotype others? How does that affect your relationships with people from different backgrounds?" -Looking Out Looking In pg. 108

Because of media like movies or the news, I think people are conditioned to stereotype people of different ethnicity or background. The media portrays certain character types for different ethnicities and therefore conditions the public to see people of that ethnicity in the same way.  I'll be honest in saying that I am guilty of stereotyping others.  However, after I correlate something bad with someone just because of their ethnicity, I quickly correct my thinking.  I know stereotyping is wrong, and I think it is a very corrupt and inaccurate way of thinking.  Being Native American and being immersed in the culture and surrounded by my family that is greatly involved in the Oneida Nation, I have seen first hand the negativity, misconceptions, and even discrimination towards Native people.  

Because I correct my stereotypic thinking and actively try to avoid thinking that way, I think it has no affect on my relationships with others.  One of my best friends is Jamaican, and I feel comfortable among any group of people.  It may not affect how I treat others, but what goes on in my mind, if I'm among a group of people with different backgrounds, is whether they think that I think badly of them. In other words, I worry about what they think I'm thinking.  Ultimately, I feel that my current relationships are not affected by stereotyping.  When I think about media and how it has affected people and how they think, I have to speculate whether or not perceptions of how others think has prevented me from making new friends from different backgrounds.  In other words,  I wonder if someone has avoided me because they think I wouldn't want to be friends with them because of what they think I think of them. In that aspect, stereotypic thinking may have negatively affected potential friendships.  

2) The film "Enough Said"

"Has your narrative opinion of another person shifted after receiving new input from others?" -Looking Out Looking In pg. 112

Yes, plenty of times.  Additional information has negatively and positively affected my perception of people.  When the new input was negative, the majority of the time I would be in shock and couldn't believe it because my original perception and knowledge of the person was good. When the new input was positive, it would improve my perception of the person.  However, after receiving negative input about a person, I don't let it affect my relationship with them.  Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, and I think of how everyone deserves to be loved.  If they don't experience love, how can the person change their ways? If I treat them differently after receiving bad information, what does that say about me?  It makes me no better.