Reflection 1: Chapters 1 & 2

Kristen Halbritter
August 31, 2016
COMM 320
Reflection 1

Chapter 1

1) The movie Boyhood... (page 12)

"How have events from your upbringing affected the way you communicate today?"

*I am being completely honest and transparent here. 

I believe the way someone was raised by their parents and the experiences they had while growing up greatly influences social tendencies, including the way they communicate with others.  To give a little background on my upbringing,  I was raised in an Seventh-Day Adventist home with a twin sister and single mother. When I think back on my childhood, I cannot single out just a few specific events that effected the way I communicate today but rather just small events that occurred regularly in my family and circumstances that were out of my control that also effected me.  For example, based on certain conflicts when I was younger, I now tend to avoid face to face conflict at all costs and I am not very good at maintaining eye contact at times.  Because of this, I tend to be a "people pleaser" and do not disclose any information/feelings that may upset the other person.  For example, I will give in to other people's suggestions even if I do not necessarily want to do what they want to do (there are few exceptions with people I am especially close to).  Additionally, I have a speech impediment that is not too noticeable now, but was quite severe when I was younger.  Kids in my class would comment or make fun of my stuttering and I believe, as a result, that I am now quiet and shy because of it. 

2) How Personal are Your Facebook Relationships? ( page 15)

- "How many would you regard to be highly personal?  How many are highly impersonal?" 

Only a handful of people that I have as friends on Facebook are highly personal, maybe about 10.  A lot of people that I have as Facebook friends are very impersonal. Some are acquaintances and some are just people I have seen in passing or exchanged a couple words with.  I would say I probably have about 50 that are highly impersonal. 

- "Which factors noted in this section (unique, irreplaceable, interdependent, disclosing, and intrinsically rewarding) affect your appraisals?" 

 I would say that I maybe have about 4 unique, irreplaceable, interdependent, disclosing, and intrinsically rewarding relationships. 

- "What percentage of your communication with these people occurs exclusively on Facebook? Through other mediated channels (phone, text, email)? Face to face? How does this ratio affect your friendships? 

With the person I am most close to, I would say that 50 percent is face to face and 50 percent is through mediated communication (mostly Facebook messenger).  That is because we are not together all the time and use Facebook to communicate during some of those times.  With another person, I would say that 85 percent of my communication with them is face to face because I have many of the same classes with them and they are also my roommate.  The other 15 percent is through texting. I think the ratio is good for my relationships.  The majority of our deep conversations occur face to face and the more shallow conversations occur through mediated communication.  I think the ratio keeps everything in balance.

Chapter 2

1) Social Networking, Survival, and Healing (page 46)

- "How often do you give or receive interpersonal support through social media?"

I would say I give interpersonal support to people quite regularly on social media, at the very least once a week, or a couple times a week.  This usually occurs when I ask someone I am already close to about their day and they open up to me about little struggles such as being super tired or not doing so well on a quiz, etc.  I then give some sort of support and encouragement. I receive interpersonal support about the same as how much I give.  Ill open up to someone about little everyday struggles if they ask about my day or week and they will encourage me.  

- "Can you think of a time when you received social support from someone you didn't know in person?... Was that support similar to or different form the kind you receive from people you know?"

I can think of quite a few times I have received social support from an autonomous person, but not on social media so much as getting an encouraging note or someone writing an encouraging verse and slipping it under my door.  That kind of support is very different, to me, than the support I get from people I know.  It is different because the support I get from people I know is more personal.  I shared with them my personal struggles and know that they care about me.  Because I also care about them, it feels more special hearing it from someone you love and know rather than receiving a word of encouragement from a person you don't know so well.  However, getting encouragement from people you don't know is wonderful in its own way.  You feel cared about, but in a different way.  You feel supported and comforted knowing that someone is thinking of you even though they may have no idea what you're experiencing. Even if they know what you're experiencing, it still feels different, at least to me.  I guess for me it is difficult to put into words.  

2) Alone Together (page 49)

- "To what extent do you prioritize mediated communication when you're in face-to-face encounters with others?"

It depends on the people I am with at the time.  If I am face to face with people I am not so close with, then I will prioritize my mediated communication if someone I am closer to is trying to talk to me through it.  However, I do not use mediated communication to the extent of being rude or not paying any attention to whats going on among the people I am currently with. If I am face to face with closer people, then my means of mediated communication will not be watched as carefully and I will avoid using it as much.  

- "How would your important relationships change if you created device-free zones and times?"

I think they would improve.  My mom quite frequently complains about my sister and I using our phones at the table during dinner or any meal and my boyfriend sometimes thinks, while we are watching a movie, that my favorite part of the movie was my phone.  So I try to not use my phone when I am spending time with him and I think it would be good to have device free times for different events or circumstances when I am with people.  I think my important relationships would grow even more important and personal if they were more device free.  This even applies to my spiritual life.  If my life was more device free in general, I think my spiritual walk would also improve. :)